In continued celebration of Britain by Thumb’s second anniversary, but mainly because of the chapter’s number, this week I am offering a complete guide to hitchhiking, a hitchhiking 101.
What to Expect
Hitchhiking is about chance. You never know what you’ll get or who you’ll meet. But there are a few things you can be pretty sure of… Expect rejection and suspicious looks. Expect to feel as if you don’t exist. Expect to feel like an idiot, a whiff of embarrassment, a healthy dose of humility. Always expect rain. Expect to feel like you should have got the train, to wonder what the hell you’re doing standing on the side of the road smiling like a desperate, failing salesman. Expect a gnawing fear that you might get stuck, here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep. Most of all, just when you’ve given up, consumed by worry, expect to get a lift.
What to take
After a phone, the most important thing is a pen. Preferably a marker pen or you’ll spend a lot of time colouring in. I take a whiteboard if I have one as you can change the destination easily. These can be tricky to find and for a long time I couldn’t replace the one I left in the footwell of a car in County Clare. Then someone reminded me that Amazon exists and I had one the next day…
In the meantime, cardboard did fine. You can find boxes in any built-up area, out the back of a shop usually or inside the shop if you ask nicely. Write the next logical destination, then when you get there write the next one on. If you’re going somewhere big - like London - write that. Road names work too. eg. M1 N.
Water naturally, and snacks are both essential. In America, where the woods go on and on, you may not see a shop all day. You probably will in Britain though. They’re everywhere. But it’s worth having on you anyway, just in case you get stuck. Take a waterproof or an umbrella. Getting rained on eviscerates the fun very quickly.
If it’s a longer trip, a tent and sleeping bag is a comforting backup. Even if you don’t use them, it’s nice to know that you can sleep somewhere should you get stuck, though I’ve never go stuck in the UK (touch wood). The biggest essential is a phone and with that a portable charger and a cable. See why below.
What to wear
Someone once told me that as long as you look like you don’t smell you’ll get a lift. It doesn’t matter if you do, you just have to look like you don’t. I’ll leave the fashion to you but don’t wear sunglasses, better to make eye contact. Sometimes I wear a nice hat, though I don’t think it makes any real difference. Don’t wear anything too revealing. Generally, you want to look cheerful, pleasant and harmless. Wear a smile, real or fake, both work.
Where to stand
This is where your phone is crucial. In days gone by, hitchers would have had an A-Z in their pocket, now we’re fortunate to have become little blue dots on Google Maps. Turn the Maps setting to satellite so you can see the lie of the land then look for the road to the place you’re going. Zoom in and follow the road until you find a place where it’s safe for a car to stop. Look for a lay-by or just somewhere the road is wide or slow enough that they can pull over. In a city you may need to get public transport to the edge. hitchwiki.org has useful information for most cities.
If you’re going onto a motorway, stand at the top of the slip road (the bit furthest from the actual motorway), in front of the ‘no waiting’ sign. It's illegal to hitchhike on a motorway but it’s ok to do so before the no waiting sign. If you can’t find a good spot, consider walking to a better place (see ‘Walking’ below) or change your sign and go an alternative route.
Where to be dropped off
You’ve got a lift. In the heady rush that follows, don’t forget you’ll have to get out. Work out where they’re going and where the best place to be dropped is. Think ahead. If they’re passing a service station for instance, that might be better than a quiet junction further up.
Be flexible though. Sometimes distance is better, especially if you’re making a long journey. It may not be exactly the road you’d planned to take but as long as they can drop you somewhere that looks good for getting a lift - that’s all that counts. Again, this is where satellite mode on Google Maps is very useful.
Walking
There’s a reason half of hitchhiking is hiking. Often you can’t be dropped exactly where you want. You can’t be afraid to walk, to go from the wrong side of town to the right - at least the side you’re going - to walk from one slip-road-less junction to the next or just to the nearest lay-by.
My brother tried hitchhiking the other day. He was going south but ended up on the north side of town. No one leaving from the north was going south so he couldn’t get a lift. Really he should have spent an hour walking across town to the south junction where all the right traffic was.
How to stay safe
The most dangerous thing about hitchhiking is the road itself. You’re more likely to get hurt in a car accident than anything else. So be careful. You don’t need my advice on how to do that.
People often assume hitchhiking is more dangerous today than in the old days, no one quite knows why, but actually, it’s safer. We have smartphones to thank for that. All the more reason to keep yours charged. It’s rare to be picked up by someone genuinely dodgy (I’ve never had it touch wood) but it could happen so you’ve got to keep your wits about you. Crucially, don’t be afraid to say no.
Before you get in a car, take a picture of the number plate and send it to a friend. I’ll admit I don’t do this but it is definitely a good idea and will help settle any nerves. Drivers will mostly appreciate that you want to be safe and won’t take offence. Don’t get in if they do. Keep your phone tracking on and have Find My Friends so others can keep an eye on where you are.
If you feel uncomfortable, tell the driver you’re about to throw up. According to a woman on Reddit, it works every time.
For advice on staying safe as a woman, here are some articles written by women: https://www.nomadsister.com/en/blog/articles/hitchhiking-security-rules-for-solo-female-travelers/
https://www.thebrokebackpacker.com/hitchhiking-as-a-woman/
Once you're in the car
Keep an open mind. That’s all I can say…
Finally - Good books
Driving With Strangers: What hitchhiking tells us about humanity, by vagabond sociologist Jonathan Purkis. It’s the best history of hitchhiking out there, full of amazing stories and touching anecdotes.
(Check out the LRB review too: https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v44/n12/mike-jay/that-ol-thumb)
Hilary Bradt’s Taking the Risk: My Adventures in Travel and Publishing. Bradt has famously hitchhiked every decade of her life except for the first which, given she is 82, gives her plenty of clout. Well worth a read.
Good luck out there and if you try it, please let me know. I’d love to hear how you got on. I’ll be back next week with a regular chapter, hitchhiking to a wedding. See you then…